venture out & be.

 

So, I turned 27 in March and I'm so thankful for a new age, a new year!  My awesome husband, Adam, put together a surprise bon fire on the beach and invited some sweet souls to celebrate with me. It was great to be surrounded with cool people, love, & my babes! At 26, I had my second child and it was AMAZING to see him, hold him, and watch him grow every single day... and of course, Willow and Adam are always just such a joy and light in my life, but something was missing. 26 was probably my hardest year. I had A LOT of hardships and wasn't sure how to get through them. I spent the whole year in a "hell trap" in my head .I knew I wasn't giving my family my ALL. I was so upset and unhappy about something horrible that happened in my life right before I turned 26. (I won't discuss it because I'M MOVING FORWARD!) So, lately in the last few months, my hardships became really bad and took over my whole life, my mindset, my happiness, and my soul. It was time I made a huge change. I was unhappy with my job, I didn't feel like I was fulfilling anything, so I found something I loved to do and started doing it full time. Photography!!! I absolutely LOVE taking photos... Photos are something we will always want and want to show. I get so much happiness out of taking photos but it wasn't enough to get me to where I needed and wanted to be...     

So, one random day,  I did yoga with my friend, her mom and a few others.  I've always done yoga on and off in my adult years and I've always enjoyed it so much. But this time it was different. It was like I couldn't think of anything else but to breathe in and out and feel at peace. With everything going on in my life (my head), I truly felt like everything was ok for a few hours. Of course, we all have our good days and bad days. I'm not saying every second of every day was horrible but my mind was definitely consumed with a lot of negative energy that I needed to seriously let go of. After our yoga practice, I talked to Mrs. Shelly (my friend's mom) about how she got started teaching yoga and what all she needed to do and she told me it was the best decision she could have made and how much she loved it and enjoyed it so I decided to look into it myself and Adam (the most supportive man ever) actually found a teacher training class that was coming up in Florida! So, I called and talked to some of the girls at the studio and next thing ya know, I was signed up for it at 3 months pregnant... I wasn't sure it was the right time but I just went with it! I started my first weekend class 2 weekends ago and it has already changed my life. I learned everyone in the class is there because of some type of hardship they have dealt with and yoga has brought them all peace as well. It's like we are all digging a little deeper into yoga for the peace it brings and in turn, we are finding happiness and peace deep within ourselves.  It was the most amazing weekend in a LONG time.. to be surrounded by a group of 20 people who were all there for similar reasons... We, as a group, shared our stories, meditated (which I always thought was kinda weird.. but for the first time, I got soooo much out of it, I can't even explain), we laughed, cried, we practiced yoga (duh), we sat for very long periods of time literally just sitting in quietness, which I've NEVER done ever ever... and all had some kind of weird connection without even knowing each other.  It was insane. We put in about 20 hours for the weekend and I think we all enjoyed every part of it. I'm not the "sitting" kinda person but I think we all should just sit sometimes. No music, no phones, no talking.. just sitting and being. 

     With all of that being said, I learned to be somewhat "ok" with what I was dealing with. I have a long way to go but I'm so excited with how far I've already come. I learned everyone has a story and all of our lives are beautiful even with the pain we are enduring. I learned to not expect anything from anyone because that's the number one way to get let down. We all have our own vision of how life and this world SHOULD be and just because someone doesn't have the same vision doesn't mean they are wrong, it just means they are different than you. We all have our own thought process and if someone thinks or does something that you don't agree with, that's on them. It's not YOUR problem, it's theirs whether it's a problem or not... it's theirs. You can't control everything and not everything has an answer... I'm currently learning to be ok with that. I feel like I'm such a black and white person like I need to know why and how to everything... yoga has taught me that sometimes things are just grey and that's totally ok! Maybe things are better grey.. maybe grey teaches us to let go of stuff that isn't black and white. Maybe grey means to just be... let it be, whatever "it" is. let people be. let things be.

      I think we all can find something positive out of any hardship, I never thought I would, but I did. In one weekend, I realized I could find one positive thing and that is to be the best mom and wife I could possibly be. I can love my children and my husband more now than I ever could if I didn't go through my hardship. I learned how to PROTECT my family and LISTEN to them and BELIEVE them no matter how old they are or what they have to say. I couldn't be more thankful for my hardships now. And I sleep so much better at night with that thought process vs the one I had before two weekends ago. So, now instead of thinking "why" or "how", I think about my kids and my husband and the love I get to share with them now and teach them knowledge I've already learned from my yoga teacher training. :) I thank my husband for supporting me in this journey and letting me find my own inner peace and being there for me and listening to me and just loving me through everything! I also want to thank my sweet friend Brittany for letting me vent for hours to her and for introducing me to a book that we are also required to read in the yoga class.. It's called The Four Agreements. She told me about this book before I ever started my class and I think every single person should read it. She had a two hour phone conversation with me and explained a lot of what this book says and really helped me with some questions I had and how to let go of things as well. It's crazy how this universe lines things up and puts people in your path. Open your eyes & be thankful for everything you go through and everyone you meet.

Just be :)

 

& please comment below if you have any questions or want to share your story. I'd love to hear from you!  Peace and love, Meagan