"Whoah, yall haven't killed each other yet?!"
We get that A LOT! and no, we are still alive, well, and MARRIED! Some days are worse than others.. of course, every married couple has their days. I swear during our remodeling of this bus, there were questionable times of our marriage, but since we moved in, we're golden! But truthfully, we are actually really good at being married! Obviously, we wouldn't have made the choice to move into a bus if we didn't really get along. Adam is the king of communication... and I'm learning to be. It's always going to be a learning curve for me I think. I'm just SO stubborn. He is too, don't get me wrong. But when he's wrong, he knows how to say sorry. I take like hours and hours to get over whatever I'm mad/upset about THEN I have to realize I'm wrong, THEN I have to process how I'm going to apologize & THEN I do. So, that's my fault in life. I take wayyyy too long to just say sorry! I know, I know, I need to work on that and I do. Really, I've come a long way. So, I just want to share the most important things we realize that we have to have while living in a tiny home!
First off, COMMUNICATION IS LIFE- living in this bus... we are RIGHT on top of each other... there's nowhere to hide, nowhere to stomp off to, nowhere to get peace INSIDE the bus. We are faced with whatever is bothering us. We have no choice but to work it out, whatever it may be. So, we do. We were always good at getting past stuff and we are VERY opinionated people, so there's no hiding any bad blood! Which for some, this would be a total make or break kinda deal. We knew we could do this because we were up each other's butts before we moved in here. Seriously, we're those people... when he leaves home for work.. I'll text him a few minutes later like "hey.. what are you doing?" knowing he's driving to work, duh. Yea, ridiculous I know. But we both do it. Always have and most likely (I hope) always will. We just love each other & still miss each other when the other is gone. Isn't that how it's supposed to be?? We feel like so many people we know just settle, and we both came out of relationships that just weren't very healthy. So, we set expectations/goals when we first got together of what we want from each other && so far, we've done pretty good with them. We don't waste time beating around the bush if something upsets us. I think that's what has kept us strong. For instance, it pisses me off when he will just leave a napkin on the counter when the garbage can is RIGHT THERE.... and I piss him off when I leave the dog's water bowl on the floor for him to kick over and step in, in the middle of the night. HE HATES WET SOCKS. Sooo... it's always going to be something, but we are both ALWAYS trying to do better. We actually talk about things rather than bottle things up and letting it manifest inside us to cause more issues later down the road! So, communication is EVERYTHINGGG! If you don't communicate well, don't you dare try and live the tiny life. You'll never make it out alive!
Space- We all need space, right?? We find different ways to get space. Little things like walking to the laundry mat go sooo far.. we joke about the laundry.. like, No really... I'd LOVE to go do the laundry, like this very minute!! Who would have thought we'd argue over who GETS to do the laundry?!! I LOVE IT! I've never seen him do so much laundry in my life!! (laughing) it's so funny! Ok, so that's one way to get a little break... Another is taking the dogs for a walk- Long Long walks with them are now wonderfullll (laughing face) unless we're at a park that doesn't allow our pitties (like we MAY or MAY not be right now...)... then we do very very fast, run from security kinda walks! which aren't so fun... but hey, every minute counts right?! Also, sometimes I'm like... "hey Adam, I'm going outside to do some yoga real quick." Those times are when I'm desperate for some "me time." He usually knows I'm very serious when I say this too. So, he will keep the kids inside while I go do my thing. I can usually get at least thirty minutes in then the kids are begging to go outside ((only bc I'm out there obviously)) but by that time, I'm good! They join in with the yoga then it turns into a dance party then everyone is all smiles! You can imagine with three tiny kids, it's RARELY quiet, but seriously 30 minutes of pure quiet time, I can't even express how nice it is! Adam on the other hand.. he's still finishing up some work so he's been able to go to work the past week. Which I'm a tad jealous of... he doesn't see it as a getaway but I totally do. He gets to talk to adults, and have adult conversations and be surrounded by bodies that don't need poop changed! I mean.. come on, tell me you see where I'm coming from! The drive to and from has to be just magical, right?! He does deal with criminals though, which I mean... I guess isn't the BEST people to be around but STILL... there's other people in the court room like the other lawyers who he is friends with, the judges, the cops, the sweet court clerks... I mean.. all this stuff counts! So while he's having his "alone time", I'm dealing with melt downs, a baby that like to hang out on my noonie 24/7, someone wants to go outside, someone needs a diaper change, someone needs a drink, a snack, and it goes on and on!! Sooooo, yea ALONE TIME IS HIGHLY IMPORTANT WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE ANOTHER ROOM OR SIDE OF THE HOUSE TO HIDE OUT IN!!! Speaking of... I think we both take longer times in the bathroom now days too??? I'm telling you, you get it while you can which leads to... dun dun dunnnn...
The "boom boom"... yea, we do it. We all do it, it's normal, don't be weird! we have kids and dogs and are living in our bus, but we still do it. Although, being a mom of 3, some days, the thought of it makes me sick because I have kids hanging on me all day, so the last thing I want is that... I still make sure that it is a priority. Adam would probably say it needs to be more of a priority but I think every man would say that about his wife! I'm like.. you breastfeed for three years straight (three different babies) and tell me you want to get naked to have ANOTHER human on you!!! IT'S JUST NOT THAT EASY! So, anyway, another thing I'm currently working on! <<getting my pre baby body back, and getting those hormones back!!>> Back on track, we do have our own bedroom, that has a door. Our kids all go to bed before 9, we try around 8 to get them to sleep but we're hardly on that tight of a schedule. So 9 is the latest they're in bed. Sutton Gray does sleep in our bed (in her dockatot) so she gets moved to the couch for the time being & we do our thing. That simple. No big deal. Obviously, we have to keep somewhat quiet not only for the kids, but because we are usually in an rv park and usually have neighbors pretty close by so ya know.. we're not trying to do the walk of shame through the parks in the morning.. although we are married... still, just awkward! The elderly people around us need their sleep so we're at least respectful!
So, there ya have it... the main questions we get on our relationship in the bus! If you can deal with being together all the time, bus life is totally for you. Communication, space, and boom boom are all VERY IMPORTANT in any relationship. You just have to work on each! The only difference in a bus is that you are FORCED to have these things or it will never work which we recognized the first week. We're just thankful we can do this life, have the marriage we have, and the friendship we have, as well. It just makes everything easy! He's clearly my best friend & when we realized all we had was each other, it was like why not?! We KNEW we could do bus life because of how we are. We don't have family to help us out, we've had a few baby sitters to help with the kids which we are so thankful for.. two of them will forever be our "family" but as far as our actual family goes, it's just us 5 and our 2 dogs & we're semi ok with that. We've just figured it out! what else can ya do, right?! Anyway, if there's anything else you're wondering about, let us know!